Confidence Building

Many factors can contribute to low confidence in dogs, such as traumatic experiences, genetics, or lack of early socialization. It’s important not to blame yourself—while it’s natural, it won’t help your dog. Instead, focus on creating a safe environment, learning about dog body language, and observing your dog closely. Concentrating on what you can control, rather than what can’t be changed in the past, will be far more helpful in building your dog’s confidence.

Common signs of anxiety in dogs vary in obviousness, so recognizing the more subtle signs can help you support your dog before things escalate. These include: panting (when not overheated), shaking or quivering, lip licking, yawning (when not tired), tucked tail or crouching, turning away (head or body), stiffening or freezing, ears pinned back or low, whale eye (showing the whites of the eyes), pacing,  barking, lunging, growling, snapping, and destructive behaviors. 

If your dog is showing unhealthy signs of uncertainty, like growling, barking, or lunging, you need to address those behaviors first before building confidence. It’s crucial to say “no” to these reactions, or your dog will likely stall in progress. Once you correct the behavior, you must also advocate for your dog, as he/she is  acting out because they feel the need to handle the situation. This may require changing your own behavior, like telling strangers “Don’t touch him/her” when they try to greet your dog. It’s important to enforce boundaries for your dog while also creating the space he/she needs. For the best results, stop the unwanted behavior, advocate for your dog, and build their confidence consistently.

Allow your dog to face their fears from a distance first, as getting too close too quickly makes it harder to distract them, no matter the technique. Take your time and gradually expose your dog to what triggers their anxiety, whether it’s strangers, objects, or other dogs. Avoid rushing or forcing the process, and never yell or punish, as this only worsens their discomfort, especially in dogs with past trauma.

Desensitization involves gradually exposing your dog to something that scares them while rewarding with treats until they become more comfortable. Start with low-level exposure to avoid overwhelming them. For example, on walks, if a stranger is nearby, feed your dog treats as the person approaches, but not too close to cause discomfort. When the stranger moves away, stop feeding, and repeat as they get closer. If your dog fears a specific object, you can place rewarding food or toys near it. For instance, if your dog is scared of a hat, place treats near it, then slowly move the hat closer as your dog remains comfortable, linking the object with positive experiences.

The best way to build trust with a dog who is uncertain is to guide them and advocate for them. Guiding them means you take the responsibility of deciding what he should do with himself in those uncertain moments. For example, you’ll proactively prompt him for a command instead of “seeing how he reacts.” Your guidance will be best received by your dog if you have a leader-follower relationship (he’s used to taking your directions) and he respects you as that leader (you are consistent and clear and you hold him accountable for known skills). Advocating for your dog builds trust, and that’s extremely important for a dog who is uncertain. To continue with our example of a dog who is uncertain about a playground, advocating for him might look like taking things slow and not rushing into the scenario. It might look like recognizing what level of challenge he’s up for in that moment and calling it quits after a minor success instead of pushing him forward. It could also look like creating space for him to work through his uncertainty—i.e. you might ask other people not to pet or crowd him. This lets him know you’ve got his back and you aren’t going to add other potential stressors to the situation. All in all, if you’ve already established a strong leader-follower relationship with your dog, he will feel so much better about following your guidance in moments when he feels uncertain. 

Teaching obedience commands can seem pointless if they’re not taught in a practical way, as they often end up just being fancy tricks that serve no real purpose.  However, there’s a way to teach these commands that makes them truly beneficial in real-life situations. This involves teaching the command, practicing it with distance, duration, and distractions, holding the dog accountable for mastering the skill, and proactively using the command in situations where it’s needed. For a dog that is generally calm but becomes anxious around new things, basic commands like place, sit/stay, down/stay, heel, and recall can be incredibly helpful, depending on the context. When a dog becomes unsure around “new things,” we can use familiar obedience commands to help them cope and gain confidence. For example, if we’re at a new park and the dog is nervous about the playground, we can stop at a distance and ask for a sit/stay or down/stay. Giving the dog a moment to take in the new environment without needing to make decisions can be comforting. By using commands they know, we’re guiding them through the uncertainty, which can bring confidence and a sense of familiarity. As we get closer to the playground, we might also use the place command (if possible) to encourage the dog to get on it. While hesitant at first, the dog is confident in the place command, which helps them feel more secure. This approach is more effective than just exposing the dog to the new thing, as it integrates known skills, boosting their confidence and reducing the stress of unfamiliar situations.

In a number of situations, applying the previously mentioned techniques work amazingly well. However, sometimes you may only see improvements in your dog’s behavior and not a complete rehabilitation, which should be the most preferred result. Enlisting the help of a professional animal behaviorist or dog trainer is highly advised in order to successfully retrain a dog that experiences extreme anxiety. Doing it on your own may simply be too overwhelming for you.